You'll Be Waiting Forever
by Even.The.Stars.Refuse.To.Shine
Summary: He looked at me and smiled; the smallest, saddest smile I've ever seen. "It's OK, love. I understand. Don't . . . don't feel guilty because of me. If you choose him, then I can understand that." What if Bella hadn't chosen Edward after all? One-shot.


**Just a short one-shot I felt up to writing. Nothing special.  
>Set when Bella returns from Italy and Edward proposes to her.<strong>

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><p><span>You'll Be Waiting Forever<span>

"I don't want you anymore, Edward. Not after . . . not after the last few months. I just can't bear it." I shook my head. "I love Jacob now."

He regarded me carefully, his eyes narrowed in scrutiny. "You surely don't mean that." He finally said.

I sighed and flopped my head back onto my pillow. How could I make him understand? As if Italy wasn't enough to make him see just how much he'd hurt me.

"Look . . . I went to Italy to save you, because I _do_ still love you. But now you're asking me to marry you! Jacob's my life, Edward, and I just can't hurt him like that. Maybe . . . if we give it some time . . ."

Edward's face was perfectly still and unmoving, absorbing my words slowly as if they were almost impossible to take in.

"I . . . see." He croaked quietly, his velvet voice gruff.

"Do you?"

He nodded slowly. "I'm sorry, Bella. I know it's nowhere near enough of an apology to make things OK again, but I truly mean it. I did what I did to save you. It was my mistake, and I'm sorry for that."

"Please . . ." my voice was thick. "Don't make things harder than they already are. I don't want to have to choose between you."

As if an apology could make things all better again, I thought dryly. After months of waiting – _months _–he asks for me back again, as if a few simple words can patch up the bruises he left behind. If only they could . . .

When Edward lifted his head to look at me, his eyes were pained. "Bella, I love you." He told me with conviction.

I squeezed my eyes shut. "Don't," I begged.

"I can't live without you, Bella. I can't. It almost killed me trying, and I'm not going to let you go that easily again."

"You didn't let me go last time – you pushed me away." I reminded him coldly.

"I thought it was best for you."

"You were wrong."

He closed his eyes and sighed. His pale hands were clenched into fists by his sides, and I thought over what had just been said. If he'd left to protect me . . . well, that would've been much easier to live with. Knowing that he wanted me; loved me; cared for me. It was unfair to think that his decision had been made purely out of selfishness – I knew him better than that. Or so I tried to tell myself.

"Why you left doesn't make a difference," I told him softly. "Not now. If you'd told me before . . . things would be different."

"But you don't believe me," he whispered.

"I do," I protested, "but no one can change the past, Edward. Not even you."

He looked at me and smiled; the smallest, saddest smile I'd ever seen. "It's OK, love. I understand. Don't . . . don't feel guilty because of me. If you pick Jacob, then I can understand that."

I groaned and buried my face in my hands. "Stop that! You're being all understanding, and it's making it worse! I don't want to feel sorry for you. I can't cope with feeling guilty anymore."

He frowned. "I'm not trying to make you feel sorry for me, Bella. I just want you to be happy – and if I can't do that, then I won't force myself on you."

"You're doing it again," I told him.

"I'm not doing anything on purpose."

"Please," I begged," leave. I can't bear it anymore."

His perfect face crumpled, and his lips trembled. "If . . . if that's what you want."

I nodded.

"But if you ever want me back, just know I'll always be there . . . waiting in the wings. I won't give up on you, Bella. Not for as long as I live."

I wiped away the tear on my cheek. "Bye, Edward."

He looked into my eyes one last time, taking my hand to press it against his cheek. "I'll always love you, Bella. Forever."

_Forever, _I agreed silently. Because that's exactly how long he would be waiting for me.

Forever.

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